††††††††††††††† Questions About Lawyers
Q: How many lawyer jokes are there?
A: Only three. The rest are true stories.
Q: What's wrong with lawyer jokes?
A: Lawyers don't think they're funny and other people don't think they're jokes.
†††† Q: What do you call 25 skydiving lawyers?
†††† † A: Skeet
†††† Q: What do you call a lawyer gone bad?
†††† Q: Whatís the difference between a lawyer and an ††
†††† † A: You cry when you cut up an onion
†††† Q: What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 70?
†††††A: Your honor
†††† Q: What do you throw to a drowning lawyer?
†††††A: His partners
†††† Q: How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?
†††††A: His lips are moving
Q: What do you have if three
lawyers are buried up to their necks in cement?
A: Not enough cement
Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?
A: The lawyer gets frequent flyer miles
Q: What do you get when you cross a bad politician with a crooked lawyer?
A: Chelsea Clinton
Q: If you have a bad lawyer, why not get a new one?
A: Changing lawyers is like moving to a different deck chair on the Titanic.
Q: How does an attorney sleep?
A: First he lies on one side, and then on the other.
Q: Whatís the difference between a shame and a pity?
A: If a bus load of lawyers goes over a cliff, and there are no survivors, thatís known as a pity. If there were any empty seats, thatís a shame.
Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?
A: When you die, a leech will stop sucking your blood and drop off.
Q: How do you get a group of lawyers to smile for a
A: Just say, "Fees!"
Q: How many lawyers does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Three. One to climb the ladder. One to shake it. And one to sue the ladder company.