GI Insurance

Airman Jones was assigned to the induction center, where he advised new recruits about their government benefits, especially their GI insurance.

It wasn't long before Captain Smith noticed that Airman Jones had almost a 100% record for insurance sales, which had never happened before. Rather than ask about this, the Captain stood in the back of the room and listened to Jones's sales pitch.

Jones explained the basics of the GI Insurance to the new recruits, and then said: "If you have GI Insurance and go into battle and are killed, the government has to pay $200,000 to your beneficiaries. If you don't have GI insurance, and you go into battle and get killed, the government only has to pay a maximum of $6000."

"Now," he concluded, "Which bunch do you think they are going to send into battle first?"

Two Astronauts

An American and Polish Astronaut were talking, and the Polish Astronaut was all jacked that he was going on his first mission into space.

The American Astronaut asked, "Oh, going to the Moon?"

The Polish Astronaut said, "No, we're going to the Sun!"

The American Astronaut said, "That's crazy, you'll burn up!"

And the Polish Astronaut said, "We've got that covered, we're going at night."

Three Thoughts

Zero Gravity

When NASA first started sending up astronauts, they quickly discovered that the ball-point pen would not work in zero gravity. To remedy this problem, NASA scientists spent a decade and $12 Billion developing a pen that writes in zero gravity, upside-down, on almost any surface including glass and at temperatures ranging from below freezing to over 300 Celsius.

The Russians used a pencil. . . Your taxes are due again - - - enjoy paying them!

Our Constitution

They keep talking about drafting a Constitution for Iraq. Why don't we just give them ours? It was written by a lot of really smart guys, its worked for over 200 years and . . . we're not using it anymore.

Ten Commandments

The real reason that we can't post the Ten Commandments in a Court House is that you can not post "Thou Shalt Not Steal . . . Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery, and . . . Thou Shalt Not Lie" . . . in a building full of lawyers, judges, and politicians! . . .

It creates a hostile work environment!