March 2006 Winner Joke

Submitted by Bill & Linda of Rodeo, CA

Wal-Mart M.D.

Most of us are going to the doctor's office pretty regular these days, so maybe we should try this... since insurance costs are going out of sight!!!

One day in line at the cafeteria, Bob says to Stanley, "My elbow hurts like crazy. I guess I'd better see a doctor."

"Listen, Bob, you don't have to spend that kind of money," Stanley replies. "There's a diagnostic computer down at Wal-Mart. Just give it a urine sample and the computer will tell you what's wrong and what to do about it. It takes ten seconds and costs ten dollars... a lot cheaper than a doctor."

So Bob fills a small jar with his urine and takes it to Wal-Mart. He deposits ten dollars, and the computer lights up and asks for the urine sample. He pours the sample into the slot and waits. Ten seconds later, the computer ejects a printout: "You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy activity. It will improve in two weeks. Here is a doctor's certificate for your employer."

That evening, while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Bob began wondering if the computer could be fooled. He mixed some tap water, a urine sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and daughter, and some water out of his favorite fishing hole, just for good measure.

He then went back to Wal-Mart, eager to test the computer. He deposits ten dollars, pours in his concoction, and waits. In ten seconds the computer prints the following:

1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener.
2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo.
3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.
4. Your wife is pregnant. Twins! They aren't yours. Get a lawyer.
5. If you don't stop fishing, your elbow will never get better.

And, as always, Thank You for shopping at Wal-Mart.

Now That’s What I Call Service.

Is there a Doctor in the House?!